You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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