I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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