Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
