At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
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Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize