I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
