So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
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I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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