Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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