I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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