I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
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You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.