I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.