He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.