You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.