dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?