Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel