dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
