Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
