shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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