saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i barfeds in our rink
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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