I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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