I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
3 2 1 whiskey
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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