HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
