I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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