My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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