He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
