I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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