I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
