I met the friendliest cop last night
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
All the doctor said was why
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
