I just saw a hot homeless man
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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