You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
