So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
