We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
