How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
