I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize