You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
