Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
it's like heaven, but drunker
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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