1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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