Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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