we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
