Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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