she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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