My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize