Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
