all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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