from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize