my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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