why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
