I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
