I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
