I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize