Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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