Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
