Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
