The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
