we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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