So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
