i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize