it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
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Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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