sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
