What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
