We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
