How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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