i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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