i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
