...so i touched it.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
