It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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