Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
