I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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