just come out here and I will go home with you...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
