dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
