there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
